Half As Well
by Character Death
Summary: Now that she was making it clear that a friend was all she was looking for in him somehow he was the one wanting more. Sequel to 'That's Why'.
1. Prologue

A/N: It's here the 'That's Why' follow-up! If you're not excited I certainly am. The first chapter's sort of setting the tone reminding you all of the events of 'That's Why' from chapter two onwards it's straight into action. I'm taking some liberties with legalities please don't be offended by it if i get corrected and i can change something without messing with the plot then i will. Given that it explains (sort of) what happened in 'That's Why' you don't have to read that first (I would recommend it though). I'm grateful for any reviews positive or negative, long or short so don't hesitate to express your opinion.

Disclaimer: characters, references to events of episodes anything that you recognise doesn't belong to me. The plot on the other hand belongs to yours truly.

Warnings: references to 'Red Hot' and events prior to that episode.

HALF AS WELL Prologue

Teresa Lisbon was, if nothing else, certainly someone that recognised where to draw the line. Everything about her consultant screamed at her 'emotionally unavailable' and still she found over time that he seemed to grow on her.

Not at first of course, the man after all, was a walking hazard. He gave her more paperwork forms to fill in than she knew existed. Her normal working hours had been shot to hell and this left her more often than not hovering somewhere between exhausted and annoyed. Sometimes she actually asked herself if it was all really worth it.

That was when he brought out the big guns somehow proceeding to redeem himself in her eyes with a combination of origami, cheeky behaviour and loveable smiles.

Worse still her face, gaining a mind of its own, could never seem to resist smiling back when he finally pulled his grin out of the bag.

If somehow even that didn't work he'd drive her to the shooting range allowing her to let off steam whilst giving her a healthy dose of that awful charm of his.

By the end of it she couldn't even remember what exactly he did to put her in such a bad mood in the first place. Even when the memory finally came to her it no longer had the same bite to it.

A part of her inwardly stomped its feet in frustration that he could have such power over her.

The romantic side of her remained contented enjoying the attention he directed towards her.

Somehow overtime the angry side just seemed to sort of dim as if it was struggling to find reasons to remain permanently against him. It too had begun to give in to the allure of Patrick Jane appreciating that he'd killed to protect her even when it had cost him a link to Red John.

That he'd managed to thaw her attitude towards him was nonetheless still something she'd stringently deny.

The wool only completely fell off her eyes when she confronted him about his behaviour with Mashburn and her. When he told her point blank he couldn't give her that happy ending she'd for some time been denying she'd wanted with him, it hit her like a brick wall blocking a beautiful horizon.

She had never really admitted to herself what she wanted and now the possibility was gone, the feeling of loss was unmistakeable.

In her imaginings she'd hoped maybe some time in the future he'd be ready for a relationship with her.

That they could move forward together.

You can't always get you want, though. That was life, a bit of give and a bit of take, not always in equal measure.

She could live with that.

Even if she couldn't help feeling completely cheated nor could she squash that tiny part of her that despite everything continued to hope.

After all, as that part of her didn't hesitate to remind her, it ain't over till it's over.

If he was stupid enough to think that this was the end of the matter he didn't know her half as well as he imagined.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: This is what I would call a necessary filler chapter. It's too abrupt the way I was initially going to write it (probably because I'm more used to writing one-shots) so this chapter was born. Also in case you were all wondering about updates I'm going to try and make it so I get a chapter up every Wednesday. Thanks go to everyone who reviewed last chapter I responded to everyone who hadn't disabled PMs. Anyhow enough said, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If it was a question of would I like to own the characters and everything to do with The Mentalist in general the answer would of course be yes. However in reality I don't; the plot on the other hand that's mine.

Warnings: there aren't really any references in this chapter (that I can see).

HALF AS WELL Chapter 1

'Where is Jane?'

Rigsby seeing the angry glare on Lisbon's face almost flinched back. Nervously rubbing his hands together already aware that Jane had left the building he looked Lisbon in the eye and spat it out.

'He went out.'

The news unsurprisingly had Lisbon's expression darkening even further.

'Did he now?'

Rigsby didn't respond taking the question to be rhetorical and wondered if she would leave him alone now that he had told her what he knew. He'd hate for her to redirect her ire onto him.

'Hand me your phone.'

Her voice was all business and he scrambled in his pocket for it passing his mobile over in seconds. About to ask Lisbon what she was doing he noticed her press the call button and raise it to her ear. She remained silent making it clear the person on the line was speaking.

Whatever she was hearing clearly wasn't improving her mood as he observed the hand not holding the phone tighten into a fist.

'Jane if you're not back here in half an hour your leather couch will have a few chunks taken out of it.'

She clearly wasn't waiting for a response as she ended the call and passed him back his phone.

'Thank you Rigsby.'

She walked off looking considerably calmer and Rigsby blinked a few times wondering if he'd imagined the whole thing.

That idea was corrected quickly enough.

Whether she would've done anything to the couch or not remained to be seen as Jane strolled in a minute to spare and stretched out on the couch the very image of relaxation.

'My office now Jane.'

She didn't wait for him to protest just marched in the direction of her office expecting him to follow. When after ten minutes he still hadn't appeared she walked into the bullpen only to be intercepted by Cho.

'We've got a case boss, it was just called in.'

'Right someone track down Jane. Cho he can ride with you in another vehicle so we can split up if necessary. Rigsby, Van Pelt you come with me.'

Everyone moved out no one daring to ask why Jane wasn't going to be sitting up front with her like he normally would. Cho somehow retrieved Jane from wherever he'd disappeared off to and despite the weirdness they all made it to the crime scene in one piece.

Then again that probably had more to do with the fact that Jane and Lisbon were occupying different vehicles.

Lately Jane's disappearing acts had increased somewhat and this had sent Lisbon into a near permanent state of frustration and annoyance.

There were a few theories floating about as there were always in these sorts of matters however no one was really all that sure what had happened.

Jane and Lisbon were hardly about to enlighten them.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello again everyone. Although you're all probably getting sick of this thank you again for telling me your opinions of my work however brief your review is i always appreciate knowing your thoughts. This i suppose is another added chapter as it were although i actually quite like it. I hope you find it similarly enjoyable to read, C.D.

Disclaimer: characters, recognisable plot lines anything you've seen on The Mentalist i'm just borrowing so i can create this little work of fiction.

Warnings: none to speak of although there are references to murder (i don't think that could be regarded as a surprise).

HALF AS WELL Chapter 2

Glancing at the local park land where the body had been found Lisbon approached the coroner Jane trailing behind.

'What have we got?'

'Jade Llewellyn aged 29. There's blunt force trauma to the head my guess is the attacker knocked her unconscious with an improvised weapon of some kind. Also there are a number of slashes across her arms and body although none of them are fatal and some were probably sustained when the body was dragged along the ground. What killed her is this cut across her neck it nicked the carotid artery, she would've been dead in seconds.'

'So the victim was knocked out cold before being moved to this location and killed?'

'The evidence certainly supports that yes.'

Lisbon nodded at all this thoughtfully and thanked the coroner before settling her eyes on Jane who was gazing at the body with his normal ponderous expression. About to ask him his opinion he beat her to it.

'Interesting.'

Although accustomed to his normally vague comments Lisbon refrained from expressing just how uninformative and irritating such a statement was. He was already aware that a comment like that would annoy her so what'd be the point?

'What is?'

He paused before responding no doubt to antagonise her further.

'Let's go see what the husband has to say.'

Used to him pointing out a number of seemingly insignificant details about the victim she observed him already walking away from the scene with a mild degree of shock.

Then realising he'd probably drive off without her if she didn't follow him she made to catch up stopping in front of Cho briefly.

'Jane and I are going to see the husband check into his records when you get back find out whether he's got any skeletons in his closet. Have Rigsby and Van Pelt visit her work place. Ring if you find something or if there are any problems.'

'Will do boss.'

Observing that Jane was almost a dot now she sprinted after him. Almost there she reached in her jacket for her keys and realising he must've sneakily taken them without her noticing, cursed softly.

Grabbing the passenger door she climbed in and buckled up. Looking out the corner of her eye at Jane she was surprised to find him smiling although his face changed to an unreadable expression within seconds.

She gave it no more consideration as he backed out the parking space in record time and her thoughts returned to images of horrific collisions.

She wished telling him to slow down would have had any other effect than him speeding up. At least there were air bags; that was a fact she didn't hesitate to remind herself of.

Realising that he didn't know the address Lisbon sighed as she explained that they needed to take a right turn here.

He didn't thank her for giving him directions; it nonetheless didn't stop her noticing that once again he was smiling. Not his beaming oversized grin, just the slightest upturning of lips.

Maybe it was directed at the road, perhaps at something she couldn't see. That didn't change the fact she imagined it's warmth to be a product of her actions whether it was the cause or not. In response she found her own lips pulling up to form a smile as the tension between the two of them eased momentarily.

As they arrived at their destination she resigned herself to a return to the way things had been lately. When he stepped out of the car giving her the keys before making his way to the door she couldn't help looking at his back mildly confused. Rarely did he hand them over so easily.

Wondering if it was false hope to consider it a gesture of peace she gripped them tightly before joining him at the door.

For the moment her focus needed to remain on the case; there would be time for talking later.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: I feel like i say this about all the chapters i've posted but i really do like this chapter. I've given Jane an opportunity to put forth his POV and hopefully you'll find it interesting. For the anonymous reviewers out there or those with disabled PMs i'm really grateful for all your comments even if i can't respond to them they are very much welcome. The same of course goes to all of you reviewers and even the silent readers who are (albeit quietly) enjoying this fic. Enough said, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope not mine i've just been loaned the characters so i can place them in some situations i've imagined and create fics like this one.

He doesn't show a lot of what he's feeling not if you don't know what to look for. There are moments when he could be anything from happy to depressed and you couldn't tell.

Not unless he wants you to know.

It's an art of his, practiced to perfection so that if he wants to he can close himself off to the world.

It happens so quickly you'd blink and miss it.

The effects last much longer of course.

He knows the very second, the very millisecond, that he flips the switch what it'll mean. It hurts because not only does it mean shutting out Lisbon, it also means losing her.

He knows that is the obvious conclusion. You push hard enough and people eventually stop pushing back. Without two people tugging at each side of the rope there can be no tug of war.

Even now as she feels anger towards him they are drifting apart. Keeping her angry would ensure that when whatever was between the two of them broke she'd blame him and that would end it all.

Still he can't resist smiling at her behaviour still mad at him and yet incapable of stopping herself from telling him the way to the husband's house. It may just have been her claiming some mild degree of control; it may be impatience that he hasn't asked her yet for directions. It may simply be that she's worried he'll get them lost if she doesn't step in.

He prefers the idea that she can't help herself, that her mothering instincts stop her from not jumping in and deciding instead that he can find his own bloody way.

Of all the things he believes about Lisbon he just knows that she can't stop caring for people whether they deserve it or not.

For all these reasons he hands the keys over knowing that he'll say or do something in a second to cease any thoughts she might have that he cares right back; even if it's the truth.

He's doing the right thing and that's what really matters.

Returning his focus on the matter at hand he set his eyes back on the door as it is opened by a man who he can only presume is the husband that he was so adamant Lisbon and himself should visit. Markedly older than Jade and rather defensive if his body language was anything to go by Jane observes Lisbon square up ready to do business.

'Hello Mr Llewellyn CBI we're here to speak about your wife.'

The man although seemingly reluctant to allow them in shuffles to the side after staring at Lisbon for an unhealthy length of time allowing them entrance.

He briefly considers baiting him right from the start then decides to let Lisbon get a few words in before starting a ruckus.

'I really would rather not talk much it's difficult so soon after…'

The husband, John Llewellyn trails off as he gestures for them to sit themselves down on a red sofa rather reminiscent of Lisbon's old couch. Much of the house appears to be open plan and when Jane makes his way to the kitchen to fetch a cup of tea he can quite easily see the back of Lisbon's head and the man talking whilst staring right at him.

Creepy, that's the word that describes this man most accurately. Even as he speaks of being distraught his eyes harden and look at Jane in a calculated, cold fashion. Accustomed as he is to murderers this guy gives him shudders.

If Lisbon has noticed this at all she's hiding it extremely well offering the usual condolences and speaking to him in a respectful tone. When Jane resumes a place on the couch the man's gaze finally lands back on Lisbon and the look he gives her makes it very hard for Jane to refrain from dragging Lisbon from this house.

The lust in his eyes is unmistakeable.

Not attraction, mild desire, nothing so innocent. No somewhere between Lisbon knocking on the door and now he has developed an unhealthy fixation with her.

Jane thinks back to the body of Jade Llewellyn recalling the petite body, pale skin, dark hair. It is perhaps no surprise then that he is so attracted to Lisbon. Maybe in having such a resemblance to his dead wife he can't help looking at her in such a way.

Still those eyes say different still cold and yet greedy as they take in Lisbon not focussing at all on why they are here in the first place. That his wife is now dead seems not to affect this man in the slightest. In everything that he does it is quite apparent to Jane that not only are they looking at Jade's murderer; they are looking at someone right at the start of his career in killing young women.

More importantly it seemed he had set his sights on Lisbon.

He had already found a new target.


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: This chapter was going to be longer but i decided to split it because this felt like the right place to leave it and it'll work better as i can add another scene this way. In any case all your reviews for last chapter were wonderful hopefully you'll all enjoy this chapter as much if not more. You all motivate me to keep writing, C.D.

Disclaimer: Still don't own it sometimes i daydream that i'm actually a scriptwriter for 'The Mentalist' but i always wake up (sighs).

Everything deteriorated from that point onward. Jane took over proceedings and had the man red all over and looking set to explode any second. When Lisbon disappeared out the room to use the facilities pausing only to give him an exasperated stare Jane took the opportunity to go in for the kill.

'Are you really going to continue lying to us? You murdered her I know that, you know that so why don't you quit the act and confess.'

Jane put on his typical i-know-everything smirk although the slight clenching of his jaw and the way he spoke belied his light heartedness.

He was clearly getting rather frustrated.

Finally there appeared to be some kind of reaction. Mr Llewellyn's eyes met Jane's in response to the accusation and the redness of his features seemed to deaden until just like his gaze they turned lifeless and cold.

Then as if his mouth was in contradiction with the rest of him he smiled at Jane.

Something about that sent alarm bells ringing.

'Getting bored of the game were you? Such boldness I wonder how much of it is a front. You're cold deep down inside just like me and yet you pull away from the warmth others can provide. I wonder how you'd react if it got taken away from you? You're not as independent as you think you are so I'd imagine it'd hurt. Then again you've experienced it before haven't you? '

He stopped at the sound of the door opening and changed tone completely as Lisbon swept back in.

'I'm not guilty Mr Jane if my behaviour after the loss of my wife is not convincing enough for you to believe my innocence I can only remind you that people grieve in different ways.'

The silence that followed that statement was filled by the sound of a phone ringing. Reaching in her jacket pocket Lisbon answered the call stepping away from the couch and turning her back to them.

'Lisbon.'

Cho spoke quickly lacking emotion as normal and if she hadn't of known him for a numbers of years she never would've picked up the hesitation when he spoke 'boss'. To her it sounded a little off as if despite all efforts to the contrary a tinge of concern had edged through his blockades. Almost as if he was trying to say nonverbally to be careful.

She didn't have time to register much of what he was saying in any case as she couldn't help hearing Jane and Mr Llewellyn once again resuming hostilities.

When silence came over the line and it was apparent it was her turn to speak her attempt was halted by the disturbing realisation that everything had suddenly gone quiet.

A pin could've dropped and she would've heard it.

That was her only warning that something was wrong and before she could turn around to discover what Jane had done this time she felt cold metal against her neck and responding to Cho no longer became an option.

'Drop the phone now.'

She didn't hesitate to do as told not ending the call simply releasing it onto the floor where it was quickly crushed by the weight of his foot.

She may not have been able to say anything to Cho but she imagined he may have heard the order to drop the phone and the sounds prior to her mobile meeting its tragic end.

That and she was hardly going to just hang up when he'd just told her the husband she was speaking with had a history of being violent to women.

He was smart he'd figure it out.

In the meanwhile she had other things to worry about. Although it was likely fruitless to grab for her gun she reached for it nonetheless. Her instincts wouldn't allow her to back down while she was still armed. The action was quickly punished when the knife dug into her soft skin leaving it stinging and lightly cut.

When she was instructed to hand it over along with her cuffs and keys she recognised the risks of not doing so and gave in with no more fuss. Unsurprisingly she found her hands bound behind her back seconds later.

If there was ever a time for Jane to wave his magic wand and pull the rabbit out of the hat this was it.

Then again there was no doubt exactly who had antagonised him to act in this manner in the first place. Jane might as well have stamped guilty on his forehead.

Nonetheless as she was turned around to face Jane she couldn't help looking at him with a degree of desperation, determination and just a tinge of dread. He gazed back and for just a second his controlled expression seemed to drop and soften before returning to normal. She took it as an apology.

Strangely enough she wasn't feeling very forgiving right now.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Phew, i won't lie this chapter fought back so to speak. We came to a truce though and i'm quite happy with the results so alls well that ends well. Wonderful comments from everyone as always so thank you for that i just hope this chapter meets your approval (hides behind bushes nervously), enjoy? Maybe not the correct term for this chapter. Read on, C.D.

Disclaimer: Nope still not mine. I tried asking for the ownership rights to 'The Mentalist' i was really polite about it and everything, they just laughed at me :(

In retrospect Jane rather thought he might have pushed the guy a little too far. It was just that something about John Llewellyn got under his skin and that didn't happen very often.

The repeated denials and the general air of creepiness surrounding him all rubbed him the wrong way. It made him feel like a cat being mocked by a bird out of his reach and fully aware of the fact.

When during his interrogation the conversation seemed to touch upon his past everything just got a little too personal.

He couldn't help wondering how exactly this man could know anything unless he was somehow involved.

Maybe it was simply guesswork; either way he couldn't be sure.

The taunting however vague seemed directed as if he knew exactly what words to throw at Jane in order to push him over the edge.

The thought that this could be Red John related filled his vision and he snapped.

That it had led to Lisbon with a knife pressed against her neck was nonetheless regrettable.

He had antagonised the man back and yet who was paying the price? Lisbon.

It wasn't a surprise he supposed. Females were clearly more his type. Jane rather imagined that a woman in his past was responsible for the obsession that had formed.

Jade perhaps realising precisely what sort of man she had married had probably attempted to escape and in doing so finally caused all that lingering resentment towards women to overflow.

Worse still now that he had a taste for it, crossed the line so to speak, nothing was blocking his way anymore.

He had gotten over that hesitation which left him pausing before actually killing anyone and now the way was clear he had no intention to stop.

Which meant as things stood the odds of Lisbon surviving this weren't as good as he would've liked.

His reflection didn't last long in any case John Llewellyn very much desired the attention to be on him.

Indeed he'd bet a million dollars that all this was the result of jealousy, of him not being the main focus.

'We're going to do this nice and slowly. I'd hate for anyone to get hurt. I'm going to take Agent Lisbon here for a drive and if I see anyone following I'll cut that pretty neck of hers.'

Jane raised his hands in the air to convey submission although the sincerity wasn't entirely there. Not really a surprise given just how not keen he was to let Lisbon be kidnapped right in front of his eyes. Nonetheless this man was obviously looking for a sign of his own authority and in letting him feel that security perhaps he could stall him long enough for Cho to arrive with back up.

'There's no need to threaten me I'm not going to do anything. You're clearly upset we all get that way sometimes maybe you want to talk about it?'

He may have been imagining things, it may just have been wishful thinking but the hand holding the knife shuddered slightly. If nothing else maybe encouraging him to tell them his life story would stop him leaving straightaway and loosen his guard a little.

'Are you kidding me you were insulting me a second ago. You stay back I'm going now.'

To prove he was serious he pressed even harder into her neck and Jane watched as blood started to ooze out of the cut.

Okay definitely wishful thinking. The shudder had probably been an incensed reaction to his statement, an angry twitch as it were.

With this obvious back off gesture he hesitated admittedly pausing his advances and standing still. Then when the man seemed to have relaxed a little moved just a little closer hands still raised and a calm face on.

'No one needs to get hurt John? Can I call you John? Perhaps if you explain we'll be able to understand.'

'You'd like that wouldn't you wasting as much time as you can so the cops will get here. Now stay back I'll hurt her.'

Gasping in pain Lisbon felt the grip of the knife tighten against her neck once more. She looked at Jane holding an expression she hoped conveyed that she could deal with this trying to tell him to leave it unable as she was to shake her head. It was important that Jane understood how much she didn't want him to endanger himself by pulling one of his stunts.

It was apparent now that the risk was simply too great.

'Jane leave it.'

It came out slightly gurgled the message was received nonetheless.

'You heard her I'm going now don't make me hurt you.'

'At least let me say goodbye first.'

A sort of twisted semblance of a smile emerged onto the man's face. Jane had clearly managed to amuse him and he nodded slightly at him as if Jane had just bared his soul.

'Get on with it then.'

Stepping closer still he kissed her on the cheek. As he pulled away Lisbon felt something slide into the inside of her jacket. It was a noticeable weight although seemingly rather flat and slim.

'Goodbye Teresa.'

He stepped away at that allowing Lisbon to be moved towards the exit. Now If only Cho could appear before he could get away and kill her, for surely that was what he would eventually do. In a desperate bid to give her something to work with he had placed his phone in her pocket something which John had failed to ask him for.

A bit of a mess inside and at a loss as to what to do he was shocked to observe the arrival of Cho who swiftly blocked the car containing Lisbon so that he couldn't drive out. The man let out a howl of frustration at this and when despite all this he backed into Cho's car his tyres were shot at rendering them useless.

Barely able to contemplate that he might kill Lisbon for the hell of it, Jane felt his left leg jerk repeatedly a nervous motion he couldn't quash despite every effort to remain in control.

They needed to get her out of that car. Right now.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Well aside from the editing of this chapter driving me a little crazy (if there are any errors you have my apologies) this chapter was relatively easy to write. Sad though it is to tell you all this we are moving closer towards the end of this fic :( As always thank you to those who have reviewed, I hope all you readers out there enjoy this chapter, C.D.

Disclaimer: I'm sure it's a waste of time writing this nonetheless 'The Mentalist' isn't nor has it ever been owned by moi depressing though that may be.

Unlike before where he was nervously watching and unsure how to proceed, Patrick Jane was all action. His thoughts were locked upon the fact that _his_ Lisbon was trapped in a car with a murderer armed with not only a knife, a gun also.

He knew with her arms trapped behind her back as they were that just this once she needed _his _help and nothing in the world would stop him from giving her exactly that.

Okay Cho probably had some sort of experience with this type of thing. Who was he kidding he definitely did. That didn't change the fact that it looked as if he'd driven here without waiting for back up and it was his own fault that Lisbon was trapped as she was. Standing about doing nothing would be unforgivable at this point in time.

He had to do something.

There wasn't a minute to spare for thinking she needed help _now_. He was at the passenger door; the only obstruction between Lisbon and him, in the blink of an eye. Nothing mattered as he tugged at the door totally ignoring the fact that it had been locked.

When it finally hit him that he couldn't force the handle precious seconds later he went for the window glass of the back door. He shattered it as quickly as possible, barely aware that he'd cut his hands in the process, reaching his arms around desperately to undo the lock on Lisbon's door.

Then he was in and suddenly sounds and awareness returned to him.

The car clearly unhappy with the way it had been treated was wailing in alarm.

Looking around he saw Cho had retrieved the man from the car and was struggling with him trying to get the cuffs on as Mr Llewellyn resisted with all his might.

Lisbon was silent and when he really focussed on her he noticed her eyes were closed. He frantically reached towards her neck searching for a pulse and met blood.

Anguish escaped him almost knocking him to the ground with the force of it.

He only regained sanity when in clutching her he felt her diaphragm shift and realised she was breathing.

He pulled away just for a second and called at Cho.

'She's breathing.'

Not realising Cho was still struggling with the suspect he observed the cost of his words as the distraction gave the man the opportunity to break free if only for a moment.

The man cursed at Jane angry that everything had not gone to plan.

'You bastard this isn't the end.'

Then a shot fired and everything went black.

* * *

He awoke later to the sight of one of his legs covered in bandages along with his right hand and a feeling as if he'd forgotten something.

The damage sustained should have hurt and yet he felt only disorientation and a sort of numbness that seemed altogether alien and wrong.

His vision was dimmed as if his eyes had been covered over by slightly translucent material and just when he was pondering if he'd somehow lost his sight again it slowly began to return. Eventually he could clearly see that he was in a hospital ward.

What had happened exactly still eluded him as he fought with the absolute certainty that he was missing some scrap of vital information.

Then the beeping of the monitor suddenly increased in volume resembling more a car alarm and everything came back to him in a flurry of images.

He'd ripped out his line before any rational thought in his head could demand he do otherwise.

Lisbon, bleeding, blood, hurt. Go.

About to make his escape the curtain was pulled back and an outraged nurse possibly a sister judging by her uniform arrived in time to witness him dragging himself out of the bed only to try and put weight on his right leg and fall swiftly to the ground.

'What do you think you're doing?'

She didn't appear to expect an answer tugging him back towards the bed as she was, so when Jane merely sat himself on the side of the bed and refused to lie back down his resistance was met with a determined glare.

Folding her arms and fully prepared to rant him into submission she was nonetheless interrupted by Jane.

'Get me a wheelchair I need to see Lisbon.'

When she didn't do anything he made to rise again.

'If I have to limp throughout the hospital pulling back every curtain as I go and insulting all the patients I meet I will.'

Her lips became a thin line stern in disapproval and when she didn't seem prepared to do anything he reached for the closest curtain about to make his next door neighbour's experience of hospital that little bit worse.

That at least seemed to jolt the nurse out of her stubborn stand as she nodded and reluctantly agreed to show him to her if he waited a moment while she fetched a wheelchair and allowed her to sort out his arm which he now realised was bleeding from his pulling the line out.

Fifteen minutes later he was met with the sight of Lisbon pale as can be, the pinkness of her cheeks and the rise and fall of her chest the only indication that he wasn't being shown her dead body.

It looked as if she'd sustained a head injury from the car hitting Cho's vehicle and there was a litter of bandages covering her neck and upper chest no doubt from Mr Llewellyn's nasty knife work.

The nurse not immediately leaving quickly informed him of her current status in a slighly disgruntled tone.

'She's just come back from surgery and looking to be recovering well. The doctors say if she can make it through tonight she should be okay.'

'Thanks.'

When the nurse returned a half hour later adamant that he return to his bed Jane didn't hesitate in making it known that he would be staying with her.

Told that no she couldn't let him do that he opened the nearest curtains and insulted the woman occupying the bed until she insisted she be moved.

Late that night the curtain between the two beds pushed to the side so he could watch Lisbon, Jane lay flat on his new bed (the nurse having tucked him in to the point that getting up was no longer an option).

He gripped the bed sheets tightly as he tried not to think about a world without Lisbon around to nag him.

At least if anything happened tonight he'd be right next to her and able to say goodbye.


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: This feels a little bit like a filler chapter that and an attempt at showing I can write the sweeter side of emotion still I like it so yeah. Also it is sort of necessary. Anyhow i'll leave it there before i start rambling, thank you as always it was lovely reading everyone's reviews and i hope you all like this chapter, C.D.

Disclaimer: okay so let me think about this Rigsby's still morose and in love with Van Pelt isn't he? Would I do that to him? Silly question obviously not. Either I'd give him VP or I'd have given him a happy ever after with someone else by now because he deserves it. So basically I've spent way too long on this disclaimer, you catch the drift in any case, not mine. Oh and before i forget there's a reference to a quote that comes from the film 'Mr and Mrs Smith' which is also not mine.

He got a few hours sleep despite his best effort to remain awake and alert. When the realisation came that he'd nodded off he rose with such suddenness that when the bedding fought back tucked in as it were he was completely surprised to be flung abruptly onto his back again.

Put out as he was with this his gaze didn't immediately alight in Lisbon's direction.

So when a chuckle that turned quite quickly into a coughing fit erupted from somewhere nearby it took him a little bit longer to connect the dots and conclude Lisbon was awake.

Their eyes met and locked as he tried to hold back his relief. She was awake how could that ever be a bad thing?

She opened her mouth to give him a greeting only for the coughing to return nothing escaping her lips except a rasping sound. This time the bedding proved inferior when compared with the determination to rise, his concern not allowing him to sit back doing nothing and feeling useless.

'Wait a sec' Lisbon I'll get some help.'

She shook her head using her hands to make a cup shape and tipping it towards her lips. Jane figured it out in seconds pouring her some water and passing it to her.

'Thankssss'

He nodded understanding what she was saying although it was still distorted and sounded as if she was trying to speak when she was short of breath and had a sore throat.

Resuming his vigil in the seat that he had previously occupied (prior to the interference of that pushy nurse) he couldn't fight the smile that came with knowing she was alright.

He hadn't dared hope she would be and yet it looked like this story would have a happy ending.

His thoughts turned to a quote about happy endings being simply stories that hadn't finished yet and before it could darken his mood too much he quickly skipped over it.

Realising that there'd been a rather long pause in which he hadn't spoken at all he scrambled for something to say.

Now that the opportunity was there for him to show how much she meant to him somehow he couldn't think of anything to tell her that satisfied him.

It was as if words weren't good enough in this instance. He opened his mouth and closed it just as quickly.

She seemed to pick up on his awkwardness and confused though she may have been by it her hand reached out to meet his on the bedding as if to say 'it's okay'.

He gripped her hand gently just looking at her and somehow that was enough.

They were found in much the same position hours later by said 'pushy nurse' who shook her head at Patrick before deciding just this once to let him stay as he was.

He was a pistol that one and yet even she was fighting a smile seeing him sleeping on the chair still gripping Lisbon's hand firmly.

They'd be awakened soon enough in any case, there were a number of their colleagues who were waiting to be allowed on the ward as soon as official visiting hours began.

* * *

Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho stood awkwardly surprised to find the boss and Jane both sleeping and holding hands. A brief argument arose as to who precisely would wake them up and finally after being encouraged (some would say coerced) Rigsby stood forward.

He cleared his throat and in a rather quiet voice attempted to get their attention.

'Ermmm boss, Jane.'

Cho shook his head at this as if to say 'that was pathetic'. Rigsby attempting another tack stepped a little closer reaching as if to lightly tap the two of them only to withdraw not feeling entirely comfortable doing so when one was his boss and the other could quite possibly jump out of the chair at any moment with a childish 'boo'.

He didn't like surprises, at least not ones that would no doubt have him making an idiot of himself; especially in front of Van Pelt.

In the end he didn't have to worry the nurse who'd briefly come in to check the obs of Lisbon saw all this steered her way through the lot of them and gave Jane a tap that was probably more violent than necessary. It had the desired effect in any case.

Jane started muttering something about abusive nurses bringing his free hand up to yawn loudly and looked up at all of them smiling sleepily whilst still not releasing Lisbon's hand.

Gently touching Lisbon's arms and rubbing them slightly Jane called her name until she opened her eyes glancing at their visitors confusedly.

Seeing the glances directed towards their hands she pulled hers out of Jane's grip quickly. Trying to look professional whilst stuck in a hospital no doubt with bed hair and morning breath was a mean enough feat without the questions they were no doubt asking in their heads about why Jane and her were holding hands.

When Van Pelt gave her a card with 'Get Well Soon' and a number of signatures followed by Cho bringing forward a bouquet of flowers she smiled at them, all the while fighting the frown forming as her thoughts turned to how long exactly she'd be stuck here.

Sure enough a man that could only be her doctor, the nametag clearly proclaiming such if it wasn't already obvious, made his way into her cubicle moments later. When everyone had cleared out barring Jane who wasn't budging, the doctor after the customary smile and introductions got down to the diagnosis.

'Well Miss Lisbon it would appear that you've had a lucky escape we've done a CT scan of your head to check for abnormalities which came back completely clean. In terms of repairing the damage sustained to your upper body everything went well in theatre and I have every belief that you will recover with just some mild scarring. That said I would advise you to try and not speak for the moment, equally I've been in contact with your boss at the CBI and told him you need to rest for at least two weeks. Then you should be able to conduct light paperwork duties preferably at home until you're sufficiently recovered. You'll also be staying here for the next few days just as a precaution. Now I think that clarifies everything are there any questions?'

Lisbon wondered exactly what he was expecting her to say to that when he'd just told her not to try and speak. She settled for a shake of her head annoyed as she was by his upbeat smiley attitude. He'd just told her she'd be the equivalent of a couch potato for goodness knows how long what precisely should she be happy about?

He left thankfully and Jane seeing all the non-verbal cues that were spelling out her displeasure recognised that now might be the time for a bit of his own special brand of humour.

She never could resist him at his most charming.

'Don't worry Lisbon i'll turn that frown upside down.'


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Well this is the last chapter everyone. I'm looking forward to all your thoughts on it. Enjoy, C.D.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'The Mentalist' sad though that fact makes me. My muse gets credit for the plot nonetheless.

When Lisbon was finally allowed back into the office, still restricted from the field, it was perhaps not a shock that Jane could be seen lying on her couch. Most took this as a sign that the difficulties between the two had finally been resolved.

This was very much to the relief of all; a lot of people had witnessed if not directly suffered from a highly stressed Lisbon taking her frustrations out on the nearest available victim.

In any case the scene was regarded as a positive indication of reconciliation. Unfortunately inside the room the reality was not as rosy, their return to this room had brought the elephant in the room right to the forefront of their thoughts. Despite Jane's presence nothing much had been shared between the two excepting the acknowledgement of each other's company.

It took Jane standing up to get a cup of tea for the silence to be truly broken. Lisbon looked up hearing his movements and after a sort of jerk of her head as if reaching a conclusion with herself, spoke the words that had been a long time coming.

Words which without even trying caused a feeling of dread that not even Patrick Jane could completely quell.

'We need to talk.'

She said it softly as if she were addressing a difficult child or a distraught relative. Despite everything that had happened she still wondered how such a statement would be taken. Jane was very much a jigsaw puzzle missing a few pieces, no complete picture and a sort of depressing awareness that there never would be one. Predicting how he would act was an art she was still refining.

She waited patiently as he stood still only turning on the spot slightly so as to face her properly. There was a palpable air of tension in the room as he did nothing more in reaction. Then he moved to the door shutting it completely before walking back and meeting her hopeful eyes.

'I know.'

The relief felt by her was apparent tainted though it was by the knowledge that they were about to have an undeniably awkward conversation.

Very aware that he was still standing and she was sitting; along with a degree of keenness to drag out confronting their situation as long as possible, she gestured towards the seat on the other side of her desk.

'Would you sit?'

He complied not wanting to argue over something as silly as whether he sat on the chair or not. When he'd gotten about as comfortable as he could be he looked up as if to say 'well?'

She straightened her shoulders and posture preparing herself. After arranging a few papers on her desk she finally realised it would be best to just spit it out.

'You said to me not long ago that 'you couldn't give me what I wanted' and left me with no time to respond. I get the impression that from your most recent behaviour this means you think it's better the two of us don't even try to communicate effectively anymore.'

He moved to interrupt and was stopped by her hand going up signalling him to wait till she had finished.

'I know that you're not ready for a relationship Jane. The behaviour you've been exhibiting recently has been completely unnecessary. You're my friend and colleague Patrick and that is all.'

Jane wondered maybe if he should be grateful for those words, after all the last time they'd spoken about this it was him turning her down. Still he couldn't fight a feeling of discontent.

Now that she was making it clear that a friend was all she was looking for in him somehow he was the one wanting more.

Clearly he was being mocked somewhere given all the irony that seemed to make up his existence. What exactly was he supposed to say in response now? 'That's great' sounded beyond insincere.

He noticed her finger starting to tap on the desk a sign of her impatience as they both sat not saying a word. He hesitated a moment longer and then finally responded.

'I don't want to be your friend.'

It was clear instantly that she'd taken it to be a rebuke, a rejection. Her lips pursed the muscles of her face tightening as she turned away from him.

'I understand.'

'Lisbon….'

'I think you'd better leave.'

He paused still not keen on leaving the conversation on this note only to duck a barrage of stationary. After that he decided it would be best to just go.

Maybe neither of them knew each other half as well as they imagined.

A/N dodges various projectiles aimed at mois, blame my muse it's a dark endless pit of angst. I won't lie it was always going to end this way. If you all want to pretend the previous chapter was the end by all means do so. Furthermore if you have any queries etc. just message me i tend to ramble but i'll try my best to help. Those looking for a light at the end of the tunnel i'm considering a sequel (if you want it say so it'll make me more likely to write it). All the best to you all, C.D.


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